Domestic Violence…sad but true.

The word violence alone is enough to conjure up images of brutality, but to combine that word with domestic should make everyone’s blood run cold.

After all, who could you possibly be more safe with than a husband or wife or mother or father? Did you know the first recorded instance of domestic violence was between Cain and Able? Brothers.

There have been laws in place reference physical attacks for at least a hundred years in some states, however, most police agencies shied away from recognizing what would be considered a “family” problem. After all, what went on behind closed doors was no one’s business, right?

In the early 1980’s some smart folks in Minneapolis decided to run an experiment. They developed a pool of domestic violence offenders for whom there was probable cause for arrest and then randomly selected one third for arrest, and one third for counseling, and one third to be separated from the domestic partner. The result had an unprecedented impact on the then current police practices. It would lead to numerous states and law enforcement agencies enacting mandatory warrantless arrests for domestic violence IF probable cause existed.

The greatest burden for law enforcement is accountability. Say the only thing you have to go on is his or her accusation, the old he-said/she-said? Let’s say you don’t make an arrest and during the night one of them kills the other. Guess who is blamed and quite often held financially responsible thru law suits? Yep, law enforcement.

So, is there a good answer to this problem? My theory is shine some bright light on the subject. Don’t cover that black eye with make-up. Let the world see it. And if they get embarrassed, so be it. Maybe he/she will think twice before they swing again.

And that leads to the next theory. Do you give him/her another opportunity? And before some of you pass judgment on my take on the subject, twenty years of crime scene work has shown me just about every brutal thing one human being can do to another. So, do you stay, or do you go? Your life could depend on that decision.

And the next issue? Women easily fall into repeat behavior. The psychological ramifications of domestic violence are endless. My mother divorced my father, an angry drinker with bad temper, and later married a man who beat her savagely. I, on the other hand, married a man who drank, a lot, but never raised a hand to me. And my second marriage was to a man who verbally savaged me.

Where does it end? Good question. My theory is it won’t stop until we each take responsibility for our own lives. We teach people how to treat us. Have this discussion with a possible partner to-be. If the two of you are not on the same page, then don’t open that book.


3 thoughts on “Domestic Violence…sad but true.

  1. Young people can “unlearn” the abusive habits seen at home by following the better examples of people that are not abusive towards their spouse. This type of programming should be the mainstay of network and cable TV. To be able to see on the big and small screen, families solving problems with thoughtful consideration of the people involved serves to give the young person a back log of possible ways to solve challenges.

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